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BDSM Dating Sites

Top 5 sites for BDSM dating, hookups, and sex

Online dating in the modern world is difficult enough already without the added inconvenience of informing your potential partners of your penchant for handcuffs and whips. For many, it is simply another hurdle to navigate on your journey to finding a kinky bae, a role playing buddy, or simply tonight’s single-serving stranger.

But while social acceptance in the BDSM community may be a distant fantasy, there’s several online dating sites out there which are building a solid network of users bonded by their kinky desires.

In no particular order, then, I present to you the top 5 sites which offer a way to further explore BDSM with a play partner, a comitted Dom/sub, or kinky friends!

  1. #1 – FetLife

    FetLife is widely considered to be the equivalent of Facebook in the BDSM and kink world. It’s a social media platform which allows people to make their desired fetishes known to the community, and is the ideal place to find the yin to your yang. Fetlife is free to join, which attributes to its status as perhaps the most popular kinkster site out there.

    The FetLife community is generally catered to those who understand that their kinks are part of who they are as a person, so it’s an ideal hub to find people who you can connect with on deeper level. Many profiles on FetLife don’t have pictures for anonymity purposes, so often you can be communicating based solely on personality and fetishes alone, which makes for a more fulfilling experience in the long run.

    Like Facebook, groups and communities on FetLife make discovering like-minded individuals simple. It offers blog sections in order to allow a deeper insight into a potential partner, and the site is personally run by several fetish enthusiasts. As it’s tagline says: it’s by kinksters, for kinksters.

  2. #2 - BDSM Singles

    In the vanilla world, sites like OK Cupid and POF are considered for the younger demographic, where paid sites like Match and Zoosk cater to the older, more cultivated folks.

    In that respect, BDSMSingles.com is the Match.com of the kink universe. It’s free to browse users but to message someone will require a paid membership, which is both useful and a hindrance. It certainly serves to weed out the fakers, which in turn has made BDSM Singles a hot-spot of female activity. Any ladies out there who have been on a free dating site will understand what it’s like to be bombarded with messages from seemingly every guy on earth with inappropriate comments or just ‘trying their luck’.

    BDSM Singles swerves around that. The ratio of guys to girls on there is 1:3, likely because the ladies on there don’t get bombarded with rubbish so they stick around. The age demographic is a little older too; the active age range is around 35-54. It seems that society has reached a point where we’re paying to avoid millenials. Take from that what you will.

  3. #3 - Alt.com

    Released in the grand old year of 1997, Alt.com was the first BDSM dating site to appear online, but has managed to uphold its status as the go-to destination for BDSM enthusiasts and kinksters ever since. The site boasts over 5,000,000 (yep, 5 million) members from all over the world, and serves as the perfect destination for whatever you might be looking for.

    Standard membership on the site is free, but paid memberships offer additional services like access to videos and enhanced profile options, but membership is by no means a requirement to get the best from the site.

    Based on the site’s activity alone, Alt.com is ideal if hookups and fetish fun is what you’re after. It’s basically the Plenty of Fish equivalent of the BDSM world. It will, of course, also be of interest to those looking for more than just sex simply due to the numbers. If you’re not sure exactly what you’re after, Alt.com is your safest bet.

  4. #4 – BDSM.com

    While being the site that has the most accessible name, BDSM.com has become one of the largest sites in the kink market. But as with BDSMSingles.com, it requires payment in order to get the best from it. Essentially, the social interaction aspects of BDSM.com are free, namely things like posting in discussion forums and checking out blogs and advice columns. But if you’re looking to find your next role play participant, you’ll need to fork out the dollar bills.

    On the flip side of the same coin; the more you put in to BDSM.com the more rewarding you’ll find your experience. Getting involved in the communities on offer are a great way of meeting people for whatever your needs might be.

    Regarding user involvement, BDSM.com has around the same activity levels as Alt.com (a hell of a lot). I would recommend BDSM.com to someone who considered themselves a newbie to the kink world, particularly because BDSM.com is closely affiliated with AdultFriendFinder.com. BDSM.com is regularly advertised on AFF, and with AFF catering largely to the mainstream market, there’s a high chance of it attracting the more ‘curious’ visitors as opposed to the hardcore kinksters.

  5. #5 – Fetster

    Fetster isn’t just a dating site, it’s a whole community dedicated to the art of the kink. Similar to FetLife, Fetster harbours an educational and supportive community spirit. The site is totally free, with no paid option to speak of.

    Searching for similarly-minded playmates is simple and easy, and most of the profiles on Fetster are filled out in their entirety – the big advantage which the site has over the social media behemoth that is FetLife. There are blogs and articles high and low which adds to the all-encompassing inclusivity vibe of the site.

    Even though the search options on Fetster are so in-depth you can basically engineer your results for your perfect playmate, the site additionally tries to match people up on more than just fetishes. It offers a multiple choice question page which dictates your attitude towards things like drugs, education, pets and politics (although it’s probably best not to answer any questions on that last one at the minute).